Sometimes It Hits Me Hard

Logans in home therapy started yesterday. I know my son has autism and have known ever since he was small. It does not matter how much I am at terms with this it still hurts at times. 

I had a perfect pregnancy and tons of dreams for my son. He was born perfect with no complications and I was a glowing mom. I longed for him for so long. I never really thought of him having autism. I just thought he was delayed because he was home with me and not around other kids. 

He was given the preliminary diagnosis at 18 months of age and officially diagnosed June 19th 2013 with moderate to severe autism. I knew this so it was not any sort of blow really. There are days when I do have a hard time with the diagnosis. For example, yesterday, the therapists were working with Logan with objects. She would hold one toy in each hand and have him choose which one he wanted. I seen Logan do this for the first time. My boyfriend has said he does it often but I have never noticed or it did not stick out in my head but it did yesterday. If he did not want either one of the choices he would rock back and forth and hum staring into space. Yes it hit me! My son is not normal. 

In my self pity party I was having late last night I ran across some videos on youtube that are worth sharing and passing along to others. I hope you watch them and they help you understand what autism spectrum disorder is. 

My Autism and Me! 

Make me Normal. This one kind of jerked at my tear producers

10 things every autistic child wish you knew