I have been struggling with myself on whether or not to participate in today's prompt: What is your relationship status?
I know how people can be judgmental and in the blog world I am sure there are a lot of these type of people, or those who just do not understand. So do I really want to put myself out there for the judgment to be passed? Lose readers due to my life decisions? I guess that will be up to you, my readers. I struggled whether to post about my relationship or not afraid of the decisions people will make. Then I think, why should I care? It is my life, if I choose to let it out I will and I am..and if you choose to not follow me or continue reading my blogs that is up to you. I know I am a good person and that is what matters.
My relationship status is--I'm married but yet I live with my boyfriend.
If you have read my About Me page you will see that I am not great in the relationship field. I have been married 3 times. I was 16 when I married the 1st time. The last marriage and the one I am currently in happened in 2008 mainly for legal reasons. Its a very long story and I really do not want to get into that much detail. We had our son together, Logan who is Autistic. Some people are cut out to be special needs parents and some aren't and I hate to say it, but his father really is not that person. Things happen, marriage fell apart and there was no putting it back together, no fault of just his or just mine but fault of us both. (mostly him)
During the troubled times and me mentioning counseling (which he refused) I met my now, boyfriend. Eric who I refer to as my (Mr. Sexy). To make an even longer story short, we live together. No I am not divorced because. 1) I can not afford it 2) he wont pay for one.
I care for our son but in my eyes Logans daddy is my Mr. Sexy. Logans birth-father, the one I am currently married to has not seen his son since December. He has one time. For 3 hours. That is it. He may text once every two weeks to see how he is doing. I get how is Logan doing? I reply with Fine and that is the extent of our conversation.
One day I hope to be divorced once I save up the funds. I did try to do that one thing online where you pay like 100 for an uncontested divorce but he does not agree to my terms.
Anyways that's my relationship status, married but living with my boyfriend. He is my best friend, the one I confide in, we laugh together, we get silly, we fight, we make up, we go to bed together every night at the same time, we are a real family and he supports me. Never in my string of relationships and marriages have I ever had anyone let me be myself and love me for me and my bitchiness! I love my Mr. Sexy even if we are not married on paper. In our hearts we are!
No matter what kind of relationship it is, it always needs both sides to survive.
Anyone who has experienced divorce knows that it just plain sucks in a lot of aspects but also for the best. I have experienced this two times in my short 30 years. Studies show that divorce rates have remained stable for the last decade at 50% for firsts marriages, 65% for second marriages and just gets higher with each marriage after. Basically statistics show that your doomed if you have been divorced and then remarry. Also basically your doomed if you marry at an early age. Marriages are more than likely to survive if marrying after the age of 25. I call BS but that is my opinion and not data.
The worse thing I have experienced with my divorces has to do with my children. They are the ones caught in the middle and get hurt. I try my best to not involve them or let them know what issues their other parent and I are having but sometimes its inevitable especially as they get older. Holidays, extra visitation, child support and just anything to do with the child usually becomes a huge ordeal. Oh the Holidays. Yes this is the worse time of the year for me. All the fighting and figuring out who gets who when and where and etc..
In my opinion every divorced parent needs to work with each other. Think of the child and their needs before your own. I never understood it. I have sacrificed much time with my oldest daughter due to her sports. If I were a selfish parent I would say no, we are going by the papers and her extra curricular activities will take a back burner because I am selfish and want her here with me. Don't get me wrong, I would love to have her here with me but her wants and needs come first before mine. That happened the day I found out I was pregnant.
Yes I am a mother with two children that live with their fathers. I made mistakes and I have paid for them everyday and do the best I can. I am on the paying end of child support. I am the puppet on a string who does whatever the custodial parent wants with the fear of a fight. I am not a fighter. I get so tired of arguing so I do give in more times than I don't just because I don't want my kids involved. You custodial parents out there, think about the non custodial parent every now and then and think about what your child would want and not what you would want. Do not use your child for your own selfishness just because you want to hurt your ex spouse!!
With the holidays just around the corner try to make some sacrifices for your kids and make the best of it for both of you. Because I have an ex that can only think of himself I am stuck with Thanksgiving without my children. All because he insists we follow the papers I do not get to see my children until December. Everyone is so excited about the Holiday's, I stress and worry. Think if it this way, if 50% of people are divorced, 50% of people are going through the holidays fighting with ex spouses over issues with seeing their kids. It's not fair and something needs to change. No wonder suicide rates go up during this time of the year. I have just gotten to the point I don't argue. I am done. I have faith my children know I love them, know I care and would be there if I could. If you are out there celebrating the holiday think about inviting someone who is spending it alone missing someone in their own family. Remember what the holiday's are about.
Either way you look at it. Divorce sucks! Especially when children are involved and the holidays are the worse.
http://www.divorceguide.com/usa/divorce-information/divorce-statistics-in-the-usa.html
http://www.childrenanddivorce.com/
